everyone has someone, I know you can see this and you know how I feel about affection. sometimes it’s nice and other times it makes me feel sick to my stomach. but there is that awful feeling of needing someone who will wait out the storm of your social anxiety and the forever feeling of wanting to crawl into a shell. i want to say, “i love you” but all that comes out is help. it’s the fear of having a label with someone that you just aren’t sure of. the questions of being happy and making the right choices. this i guess, is just another thing that consumes my mind and has for the past months. this feeling makes me want a valentine, and that kills me inside knowing that this year like every other, i won’t actually have one, because it means that i am so good at repelling men.